He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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