Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize