4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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