I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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