I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
