like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
