Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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