so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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