Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
