Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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