just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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