I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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