My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
