Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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