I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
