Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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