yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
