Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
