the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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