i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
