I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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