i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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