She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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