Define "chronic" masturbator.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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