i jhust puked up my retainher.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize