If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
