did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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