I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
