I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
