just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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