I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
jump out the window naked night went bad
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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