yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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