Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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