mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I will be naked everywhere
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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