so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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