I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize