what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
