Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
