Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
