Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize