I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
