oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize