the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
