also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
