There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
