its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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