I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
