oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
