It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why did my mother make you get naked?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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