i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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