I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
