i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
