literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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