Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
