hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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