I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
