i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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