A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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